the end of my second decade,
will you be the year that it all becomes worth it?
my eyes and heart are open.
[ 24 January 2010] · [ ]
I have been hardcore neglecting my internet self and I wish I could say it was just because I've been busy. I have, but I've also been and continue to be deeply sad. (not depressed. sad.) harboring a broken heart for so long takes a surprising amount of energy and, aside from teaching, I haven't been good for much of anything in a long time. it's not as bad as it was at first, when I was lost in anhedonia, but "better" still seems like too strong a word.
and so, the silence.
so many things are different from the way they used to be that I'm not sure if it's possible to pick back up and just start writing again. I find myself not entirely capable of even replying to emails from old friends. I am not the same narrator, and I no longer delight in the storytelling. this present is not worth preserving.
[ 23 December 2009] · [ ]
my darling and well-adjusted siblings. crust on the pumpkin pie. a career that I am, without exaggeration, deeply passionate about. sweet, challenging, inspiring eleventh graders. colleagues who work hard and play harder, just like me. prospect park. living a life in which no one even notices that I don't have a driver's license. the internet. coconuts and avocados. pens of many colors. stars.
[ 26 November 2009] · [ ]