saturday, june 3

•••    one of my favorite people in the world is a four-year-old boy I babysit. I've known him since he was fifteen months old. we used to have a lot of fun together before I went to college. we've been playing together since I got back, and we have lots of plans for the rest of the summer. I may be a big physics geek, but I still do one hell of an airplane impression.

when I went to his house today, he had a present for me. his mom told me he picked it out at a garage sale. it's a mug that looks like it's been around a while. it's off-white with pink and blue splatter-splotches, and it says in sloppy faux-kid-handwriting: "best babysitter in town."

the mug has seen its last garage sale. ;)
11:48 PM +

•••    I was going through some of my old journal entries and I realized I haven't even been home for three weeks yet. in some ways it feels like a lot longer than that. I am so far out of the school mindset... and yet this whole summer thing feels so temporary, I can't quite figure out what I'm doing. or something. I'm not bored, but I'm not rooted.

I'm also not making sense. ;P

I need to start a project - one that has nothing to do with the computer. that means no writing, because I will inevitably decide everything needs to be typed up. I'm still thinking about this.
4:50 PM +

•••    it's a pretty, pretty day outside. I'm heading out into the sun. I think I'll bring xtc with me.
1:23 PM +

•••    there's a stretch on my running route that's little more than a narrow strip of grass in between the highway and the river. I don't like running on the little sidewalk right next to the cars, so I usually hop the guard rail and run in the grass next to the river. I've been jumping that rail for years, but today my mind was somewhere else and I didn't time it quite right. my left foot slipped backwards and I found myself horizontal above the pavement - the top edge of the rail caught my left quad, I landed on my hands, did a tight somersault, stood up and kept running without breaking stride.

let it never be said that those years of gymnastics training went to waste!

(my leg is very purple now. and it has a tattoo bandaid that says "peace," which I find amusing because it looks like my leg has been through battle.)
12:00 PM +

friday, june 2

•••    just one more reason why I love babylon 5: the friend or foe recognition chart has two exclamation points. ;)
11:32 PM +

•••    this is so sad . . . why would you dread broccoli? broccoli is so cute and yummy! it's like eating little trees!
10:35 PM +

•••    on the bus into boston, I stood next to a person who was wearing flowers. she had a wreath of daisies and straw and dried miniature roses in her hair, and all kinds of ropes of flowers held together with bottle-can pop tops and ribbons. she also had a sash made of dollar bills folded into fans and pinned together with roses. they were singles, but there must have been at least fifty of them.

on the bus back into cambridge, I sat next to a person who was reading the bible. the proverbs of solomon, chapter four. he didn't look up once, and when it was time for him to stop reading and get off the bus, he marked his place with a paper clip.

I love public transportation.
6:55 PM +

•••    ooooh, downpour!! :)
6:36 PM +

•••    it seems like every mac/netscape person I talk to sees this site differently. for me, using netscape 4.7 in windows 95, it's viewable but imperfect. I've had mac people tell me everything from "it works fine" to "it doesn't work at all" and now I have no idea how to fix it! ick. :P
1:19 PM +

•••    not that I would really know, but I think patti sounds like a good mother.

however, if you have to do your homework to be a good person, I was a little worm in high school. :P
12:30 PM +

•••    check out this cool experiment. I love brain stuff. I think I could have been a cognitive scientist or a neurologist or something, if not for the part where you have to be involved in animal experiments.
10:42 AM +

thursday, june 1

•••    I hate hate hate it when my family fights. I hate hearing them. I hate it.
can't turn the music up either, because there are neighbors sleeping on the other side of my wall.
I'm going to go cry or something now.
10:55 PM +

•••    I thought I had seen all the chicken road-crossing jokes, but I was wrong. favorites: eeyore, bill clinton, Q, and dr. suess. :)
10:29 PM +

•••    there was a man playing the bongos by the river tonight. I passed him twice while I was running. he was sitting alone on a bench under a group of oak trees, drum between his knees, smile on his face, seemingly oblivious to the rest of the world.
it was too dark to see him in the shadows when I ran by the second time, but the music was happy.
9:56 PM +

•••    um. white blood? does that mean if you have a tranfusion, you will end up with pepto-bismol-blood? helloooo, star trek 6. yuck.
1:58 PM +

•••    there's nothing sicker than reality.
there's nothing more beautiful than reality, either.
12:07 PM +

•••    sing with me!
which of these things is not like the others; which of these things just doesn't belong? la-la-la la la, la-la-la la!
12:35 AM +

wednesday, may 31

•••    okay people - fish is meat. eat it if you want. but it's meat! it is! (I will never understand why people say things to me like "you're a vegetarian, right? so you eat fish?" - I don't even eat freaking jello! why would I eat fish!)

by the way, there is such a thing as cruelty to fish. there is no such thing as a fish slaughterhouse, so there's no sensationalist shock tactics used to keep people from eating fish. but isn't it enough that they're being overfished to the point where its destroying ecosystems and killing species? shouldn't it be enough? (this is not true of all fish. all it takes is a little research if you want to be a conscientious consumer.)

I am going to stop soapboxing now. I'm not telling you what to do. blah.
11:47 PM +

•••    reading brenda's post about sierra leone made me realize how long it's been since I even read an ai actiongram. I've been something of a non-activist since finals. huh.

anyway, you can help. write to the presidents of the usa and liberia and tell them that this situation is not okay. believe it or not, this letter-writing stuff does work. I've seen it work. I've gotten thank you letters. so go. make a difference.
10:28 PM +

•••    one fish, two fish, red fish, shark!
::dies laughing::
that shark is just about the best thing I have seen all week. :D
8:55 PM +

•••    the next time someone asks you what you do, think about what it would be like to say, "I'm a swine odor manager."
8:40 PM +

•••    I'm making dinner tonight. my family will all have to eat vegan food! hahahahaha! :D
5:50 PM +

•••    I think, for now, I am going to be satisfied with the way it looks in netscape, even though I truly don't understand why netscape is doing what it does. the text is in the right place, and that's all that really matters at the moment. I am, of course, always open to comments, criticisms, and suggestions. :)

big thank you to everyone who gave me feedback and encouragement. you have no idea how happy it makes me! :)
(andrew abb is a netscape god, by the way.)
5:04 PM +

•••    getting closer. I am still thoroughly perplexed as to netscape's m.o....
3:33 PM +

•••    a better question might be, why isn't netscape reading the css at all? the only place it's working is the inline declarations for the webring links. that makes no sense. I didn't write it any differently than I usually do. :P

I'm going running now. this can wait until after I've exercised and showered and all that. hopefully by then it will be less annoying.
1:00 PM +

•••    just did the netscape test...
hooboy.
does anyone know why it isn't lining up right? doesn't netscape know what position:absolute means? :P and can anyone tell me how to fix it?
also, if you have a mac, please tell me what it looks like. I have no idea. there are no macs in close proximity, and none of the libraries around here have easy internet access.
12:29 PM +

•••    okay. I know, I know.
this is not like me at all. I thought the last design was too girly, and now this?

I don't know. it was pretty spontaneous. I wanted to redesign, because I was just sick of looking at the old one, and I had something all worked out with lots of blue and purple and stuff, and then for some reason I decided I didn't want to use it. I think it was because the fun part (playing with paintbrush - yes, paintbrush) was over, and the annoying part (lining everything up in the code) was rearing its ugly head.

also, I really really like this picture. ;) I took it a few months ago at school, facing away from the back of the performing arts buildings into the woods. I was standing basically inside this tree, looking out at the sun, which was just starting its evening descent. it was a nice day, and the air smelled absolutely beautiful. looking at this picture takes me to a happy memory. the tree doesn't look like this anymore; if I were to stand in the same place today and take a picture, it would come out solid green. but I'm not at school today, and I miss school the way it was, not the way it is now. I walked past this tree at least once a day on my way home from the music building. it's a good tree.

this is ridiculous in so many ways. it's pink, for one. and that background image is gigantic - I'm going to work on that. and it's not even spring anymore, really. but you know what? it feels good. maybe it will only last a week, maybe I will tear the whole thing apart. but I won't put the old design back up (if you really miss it, you can read the soon-to-be-updated me and about pages), and for now I'm going to enjoy this one.
3:35 AM +

•••    eesh. that thing takes even longer to load than I expected.
of course, I am on a freaking 33-whatever modem with a three-year-old mess of a computer.
3:07 AM +

•••    okay, I'm about to mess with the template. brace yourselves.
3:00 AM +

•••    instead of track and field, I think we should have a sport called "house and yard." things like bannister-sliding and tree-climbing and plumber's field goal could be events. wouldn't that be fun? don't tell me you wouldn't have fun!

I used to do stuff like this all the time, with random made-up contests like bouncing a tennis ball on the racquet over and over, or getting a soccer ball up a full flight of stairs using only my head. there were always the same four competitors (all of which were really me): mary, anne (mary and anne were twins, ha), clara, and me. in that order, every time. mary sucked - she was really not very athletic at all. anne was okay - she had her moments of brilliance. it was generally very close between me and clara, but I usually edged her out by a few precious points. she had a tendency to unexpectedly choke at crucial moments. ;)
12:57 AM +

tuesday, may 30

•••    my original plan for today was to go running and do some stair sprints, but I still feel weird and hypoglycemic, so instead I've been watching babylon five episodes in order. I lost a lot of blood; I'm allowed to be a vegetable. ;)
6:45 PM +

•••    do people really have swimsuit angst like this? I think the whole world needs to chill out and give up on the idea that how you look in a swimsuit is even remotely important compared to, say, whether the spf of your sunscreen is high enough.

(I will be sticking with my same old black and green speedo, by the way. and spf 50.)
4:32 PM +

•••    I fainted in the blood lab this afternoon. it was pretty embarassing. I'm supposed to be a veteran - after all, I've had monthly blood tests for years. granted, they don't usually collect eight vials of my blood, but still. I felt really stupid, especially since I had just finished telling the nurse that I was fine and I didn't need anything to drink.

too bad I'm not a giraffe. they don't faint. plus they have those great tongues. ;)
2:48 PM +

•••    just don't want to go to the hospital today... blah. seeyalater.
10:37 AM +

monday, may 29

•••    I've lost some of my svelteness since the rugby season ended. I need to get my athlete mentality back... I've been working on it. it's so easy to get sucked into this little world inside my head with my computer and my books and my turquoise-inked pens that sometimes I forget about the stuff attached to my head. I forget that it needs to get up and move around once in a while.

there were a lot of people out running today. I was one of them. it felt good. the best time to go river-running is late afternoon, when the sun is starting to sink and it makes long glittery light-trails across the water. I like to chase the light.
6:38 PM +

•••    the sun is slowly creeping across my monitor, and I can't see anything where the direct light hits. right now I still have the favorites, tools, and help menus on internet explorer, and I can navigate with keyboard commands . . . but soon the glare will make me completely blind to the web.

maybe I'll play with prisms. :)
4:42 PM +

•••    even if it turns out there was never any life on mars, we can always grow some ourselves.
2:40 PM +

•••    I'm a good speller - I got them all right. this is what academia and an eidetic memory will do to you. I only know how to spell "desiccate" because of ap bio.
(I forget where I originally saw the spelling test, but I followed the link from swallowing tacks.)
12:06 PM +

•••    it's easy to forget what the point of memorial day is. I know I didn't really understand the difference between memorial day and veterans day until high school, and all those three-day-weekend holidays seem more like celebrations of themselves and their mini-vacations than anything else. they're for soccer tournaments and barbeques and department store sales.

maybe it's easy for me to say that because I'm one of those kids who is too young and american to have ever really felt the impact with war. when I was in fourth grade, I refused to help make and sell yellow-ribboned buttons that said "support our us troops," because I thought the persian gulf war was absurd and I didn't want to have any part of supporting it. my kindergartner sister bought one because she thought they were pretty. last year I refused to wear a black armband in protest of the kosovo bombings, because I thought complaining about the evilness of america without actually doing anything was just as bad as blind patriotism. (I wrote a letter and signed a bunch of petitions.)

still. I don't know much about war, except that I don't like it. I don't like thinking about how many people have died, and are still dying and will die in the future. but today I will, because it's memorial day.
11:17 AM +

•••    new blog worth keeping an eye on: inanity. read the thing about the cereal.
2:31 AM +

•••    the seniors are graduating today. I'm going to miss some of them a lot, especially the ruggers. it's always hard to lose teammates. it's also really weird to think of them as normal adult people who are going to go off into the real world and have jobs and apartments and kids and stuff like that.

fortunately I'm destined for grad school, so I won't have to worry about functioning in the real world for quite a long time.
it's still a sobering thought.
2:00 AM +

•••    off the pitch, though, I'm a nice rugger!
oh no wait... ::makes tough rugger face:: ... hehehe :D
1:47 AM +

sunday, may 28

•••    people keep asking me if I am going to see the x-men movie, and then they keep being surprised when I say no. I am perplexed by this. I'm a trekker, and I like patrick stewart, but I don't feel obligated to see him in every single one of his performances. I know next to nothing about the x-men; I would get next to nothing out of going to the movie. I like star trek because it's star trek, and I like picard because he's picard, not because he's patrick stewart. I don't like movies much in general.

besides, I just saw him on broadway. why would I want to go see a recording of him in a movie theater? ;)
11:26 PM +

•••    I learned something important today - never overlook the entirety of a personal site just because only the weblog is updated every day. I was just poking around and I clicked my way into loose associations. I'm not finished exploring yet - I'm about halfway down the list on the site map - but I can tell you that this is a website worth reading. so go. I'm going to try and pay more attention to the non-weblog sides of sites for a while too.

(I would tell you to read mine, but it hasn't been updated in a couple months, and I'm embarassed. ;P)
9:44 PM +

•••    there are lots of live fish in the river - of course, my dog finds the dead ones in the grass. yuck.
7:19 PM +

•••    ... and now that it's finished, I need to get away from the computer. it's a beautiful day. riverwalk? mm. :)
3:54 PM +

•••    on the list of big things that make me happy: swat rugby and finishing projects. so, this makes me very happy. :)
3:14 PM +

•••    and I want to ride this one, asap. hehe.
1:56 PM +

•••    hey! I want to get stranded on a roller coaster the next time I'm at riverside!
1:49 PM +

•••    I'm so used to carrying my toothbrush back and forth to the bathroom at school - now I keep bringing it back to the computer with me. ;P
1:40 PM +

•••    I had forgotten how boring casey kasem is. the weekly top 40 is on at like three in the morning in philadelphia, so I never listened to it. now I get to hear the long distance dedications in all their saccharine glory again. ;)
10:54 AM +

•••    I had vegan waffles for breakfast! ummm. :) do you know how infrequently I get to eat things like waffles... ?
10:10 AM +

•••    the web in 256 colors is not a pretty thing.
1:06 AM +